When you get ahead of yourself

When you get ahead of yourself you always make a mistake. Sometimes it can be corrected and sometimes it is just done, period. When you think of dramatic things that might have happened in your life but they didn’t and you think of coincidences that influenced you and lead you towards the person with whom you are spending most of the time, you might ask yourself was there something behind the curtains of the perceptual reality or was this just yet another version from the vastness of variations.

You see, we are part of conscious universe and what ancients knew we have forgotten. We need to be cautious about it. This universe will help us build and create things, out of itself by itself. Out of its mass and material by the beings that are living in it. All that we know and don’t know is part of this vastness. But we tend to forget that we are also the same part as those stones, river, animals, trees, air etc. We are the same. However, since we are more capable of planning and looking ahead we were supposed to be those who are responsible and we are failing at this. We want freedom and knowledge, but we fail on merging the opposites into wisdom. Why?

I suppose we are brought up in the spirit that »me being right is the only way«, and everyone who doesn’t agree with me is wrong and should be ridiculed, or at least ignored. But I think this is wrong. We should listen to the arguments and contemplate, try to understand those that represent just the opposite from what we are used to hear. After some time, if everyone agrees with you, you might start thinking that either you are too agreeable or that those around you think you are a kind of dictator. Either is not very good. Not very responsible. If everybody always agree with you will have problems with self esteem. If you are a dictator who always want to be right everyone will hate you. Neither is fine. And in both cases we tend to overwork our minds and that leads us to today’s neurotic society, driven by overthinking and over planning.

What we don’t do is relax and enjoy the simplicity of Its presence. Of whom, you might ask? Nature. Nature is also a part of this vastness, and we are part of the nature. When you are doing Qigong you are connecting to those simple aspects of your wholeness that help reconnect the parts of your being that went too far in the search of finding the right answer to the right question in the competing game of who is right and who’s not. If you could just relax and enjoy, things will start settling and everything will be placed in accordance with your inner nature or your inner being. Just like with puzzles. When you push and rush, you only get nervous a you blame stupid puzzles for their stupid complexity. When you relax and you start enjoying the game everything seems to be right. After all there are only pieces on the table that at the end will form a picture.

I know that my passion, which is Qigong, might seem to somebody weird or even idiotic. In fact there are more people who think that way in this world than those who share the same passion. But I don’t care about that and I don’t rush in explaining to everyone I meet what I actually do for living. But the nature bows and respects me and my way. I can see that in reactions of animals, insects and even in the events in my life. When you respect, respect is given back and multiplied. Never underestimate the kindness! Everything around us is being nice with us, however we, »two-legs«, tend to understand that as a sign of weakness.

When we rush and compete into our rightness we are lost as ever. We should move in accordance with natural rhythms of fluctuating waters of the oceans, seas, rivers. And do you know that in reality the moon is just the indicator of this movement? In reality this fluctuating movement is much bigger and broader and is so grand we can’t even imagine how big it is. It is Universal, going from infinitely small to infinitely big. From the smallest sub particles to grand objects; from unseen to seen; from vibrational to material.

When we breathe and relax, and we do some Qigong, being fully aware of Qi, we are relaxing into this cosmic wave. This wave might be depicted as YinYang symbol that is constantly changing and moving and creating natural wave movement that resonates forward. Ancients that practiced Qigong, Neigong or alchemical exercises knew about this fluctuation and described it in many ways. The deepest experiences that  are described by practitioners are those of losing the sense of physical body, being completely merged with the surrounding or even disappearing of self.

What might happen to people who would lost their self is facing what is left, their shadow. If this would happen too quickly, too early and with great haste,  there wouldn’t be enough wholeness inside their beings. What I mean by that is not enough light or whatever you want to name the state of wholeness of spirit.

It happened to me. It happened to you. It happened to everyone who in any point of time in life started walking one’s own path. We make mistakes to correct them. If those can’t be corrected, it is up to us to make things better in future. It might be irreversible, so you don’t forget it easily and learn something from it.


Do you understand that time is merely an illusion that can be twisted and adapted? Do you know that our time is going faster because we want to move through space time, which is the same thing, faster and faster? But with Qigong you move slower. And that wave, cosmic orgasm inside all of us, is of slow pace. It is the gentle vibration that penetrates all blockages in energy system. When you let it move through you, it heals you. In Qigong meditation this is described as spontaneous movement, which has deep corrective and healing effects on body, mind and spirit. Other alchemical traditions call it otherwise. Quetzacoatl, Breath of Life, Great Spirit etc.

This is a cosmological Jing coming from the Source. It is a Push in Pushing Hands, while you are the last one to receive the Fajin from your creator or your partner, friend, opponent. Wave of Qi.

Qi is a medium for Consciousness.

When I rush to be right, or on contrary, I rush to agree with everything around me, I just don’t use my capabilities to evolve. I simply can’t be that humble to be free and responsible. And I can’t evolve to the full spectrum of those other, here unnamed, virtues that can only come from Nature and Source. I can’t feel this wave that fills me with consciousness. That wave which pours consciousness in all beings, even stones. I said on many occasions, »everything in nature has consciousness«.  We should respect that, if we want to stay conscious or evolve in more conscious way.

However if you tend to go ahead of yourself here and there but not stubbornly make too many steps or even quantum leap, you might learn something from your haste. You will learn that taking a slow walk, seeing birds, finding some great spot to do Qigong is far more delightful than getting on a plane and going far far away, and then having a jet lag for one week, which is far worse than hangover from the new year’s eve party, which I  consider funny in a way.

May the Qi be with you!


Photo: Pixabay

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  1. Very nice writing Petar. I appreciate your sensitivity to these things and your willingness to think and write about them. May the Qi be with you!

    1. Oh Nemo, sometimes I get these glimpses which make want to write them down and say something about the inner problems that occur while building yourself on the inside. I guess I am just an explorer, still learning. When there won’t be anything left to write I guess I will continue with silence. But untill then, 🙂 May the Qi be with you! P

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